what up blogspot.

before i drifted away to sleep last night, i pondered the hour away.

i kept thinking about who i was before. i laid in bed reminiscing when i was instantly attracted to any guy who gave me the slightest attention. i used to try SO hard, in an act of desperation. i think it might have to do with the fact that i used to be so insecure and discontented with myself. anyway, and then that led to think when i was trying to "change" from that. haha. gosh, was that a bust! i took the guy who was most convenient to me, and tried to force myself to fall in love with him. all that resulted in was dissatisfication, a broken heart, and an entire summer wasted (it actually was last summer). i wasted a perfectly good friendship, someone who was always there for me. i hate to admit it, but i kinda miss talking to him.

and NOW, i just don't seem to care. putting my heart on the line of lust is so blasé now, i'm kinda letting it sit there, collecting dust. i lead guys on for the attention that captivates the moment, but then it diminishes and i move on. i can honestly say i've met a few good guys lately for once, i'm just.. uninterested for once. actually, they're annoying as FUCK. haha. i mean, yeah, it's a good thing that i don't see every guy as a potential boyfriend anymore, but it kinda bores me. now, the attention that i receive from guys' kinda suffocates me, i don't take any of it to heart.

it's once in a blue moon where i find someone that genuinely interests me. and more often than not, he's a fuckin' player.

i'm the girl your momma told you to stay away from :)

xoxo, josie.