relationshps

i was thinking about relationships earlier.. like i look at couples and i see how they're so lovey dovey with each other, but yet they still act like friends; best friends for the matter. why is it that when i think back to my last relationship i didn't see any of that? and the sad thing is that i can't imagine myself managing a healthy balance between a physical and mental relationship. maybe because in the past, whenever i've liked guys it was always in the emotional state, and i grew too comfortable with them to the point where if i got physical with them in the least bit, i got disgusted. and here i am, always complaining about never finding a good guy.. is it really me that is at fault? or maybe i just haven't found someone who is willing to be committed to both elements of a health relationship. or maybe i just ask for too much. but shouldn't i expect a lot? instead of ending up with some low-life creep.. right? why do i question myself so much -__-

i always push the good guys away.

xoxo, josie.